It’s an unusual and new feeling, the inexplicable necessity of focusing and relying on the now. Certainly one that came around post-pandemic – When I tried hanging on to, and reconnecting with, all of the same dreams and goals I had before it began.
I tried, but things were not clicking for me like they used to. At first, I panicked. It was October 2022. I had just relocated to Toronto, an outstanding city, a relocation goal I had committed to before March 2020.
But the basic things proved to be something of a challenge – Trying to exceed work expectations with a post-pandemic brain, living on my own with all of the daily responsibilities that entails, let alone trying to successfully build a social circle while trying to get to know myself all over again after the global you–know–what – it was all too much.
Not just that, but I also found that I had lost the ability to work towards any new vision for myself over the next few years, which was the scary part. I have always been someone who could create a long-term “goal from scratch” no matter the time or place. But something had changed within and around me, and no vision would materialize.
I decided to reflect on why this may be. For me, the years lost to the pandemic were the years between 34 and 36. I was unconsciously, but desperately, trying to accomplish everything that the early thirties version of myself had on the so-called life list.
Fast forward to 2025 with a new year around the corner, and the world has changed, and continues to do so in every possible way imaginable. Culturally, politically, sociologically, and psychologically, Massive, large-scale changes are occurring on an almost daily or weekly basis.
I discovered that I had been attempting to glean every bit of dopamine from chasing those pre-pandemic dreams and memories of what I thought I wanted and, more importantly, needed. But the way things stood at 37 was significantly and unmistakably different.
Physically, I’ve just plain lost energy for things like intense workouts, a full social calendar, strenuous commutes, and mentally misaligned work. Emotionally, I felt handicapped because I had lost so much motivation for meeting and connecting with new people, which was a daunting thought.
So I decided to lean into the feelings I perceived as negative and decipher what they were communicating to me. They say that all emotions are data, so it’s essential to pay close attention.
Confused as I may have been, it turned out pretty well.
Humans can’t beat the natural maturing process, no matter how hard we may want to. One has to respect the laws of the biological world, and with that, respect oneself, to evolve into healthy and well-adjusted versions of ourselves.
You’re allowed to slow down past a certain age and lose interest in your young person interests and activities. Whether that’s over-prioritizing external image, pursuing aspirational hobbies that aren’t really you, or even dating if you aren’t really up for it, because let’s face it, being a supportive and successful partner is a serious role that should never be taken for granted.
It’s okay if the thought of your old dreams now exhausts you.
We can pivot, or even better, stay, accept and embrace exactly where we are. Feel free to continue what you enjoyed during the pandemic, when no one was watching, commenting, or asking too many questions. Baking bread, reading all day, staying silent for as long as you need to, working out less, only talking to your core and favourite people, you get the idea.
When I say “comfortable sitting the nothing of it all,” what I mean is that letting go of how things used to be when the world and we were vastly different – sitting still in the present without trying to unconsciously chase something new and shiny simply for the sake of it.
It’s a whole new world, and with that, we have to take a chance and embrace new ideas and ways of being to thrive.
It may seem unnerving at first, not unlike the birth of artificial intelligence and how it’s changing the literal and figurative global landscape. But if you think about it, AI is going to free up time and mental real estate for so much more. We can envision and create at a higher level.
We need to pivot in similar ways with our beliefs, attitudes, and approaches to life. Giving ourselves more credit as humans, with all of our potential, proven time and again throughout history, could turn out in our favour if we are brave enough to try. We are capable of so much, and we need to arm ourselves accordingly, not only to survive the constant change around us but also to maintain a positive outlook on life and build for the next generation.
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Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope what you have read has somehow educated, informed, or inspired you.
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