The concept of love and romance has evolved dramatically over the last 100 years. Our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents all experienced extremely different versions of courtship, deep connection and love with their romantic interests, not all of whom ended up as their final wedded partners.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I thought I’d take some time to reflect on what the commonalities of “healthy love” are, and how different people of various ages, cultures, and personality types choose to demonstrate how they care about the love in their lives.
We still have the tried and true methods of wooing our partners – flowers, dates, vacations, beautiful words, intense sexual chemistry and subsequent expression as such.
But what about the kind of feelings and moments within a short or long-term relationship that catches you off guard with their beauty, depth and unexpected emotional impact? Keep reading to find out what I mean.
UNDERRATED ROMANTIC ACTS
Respect over romance.
Being swept over every now and then never goes out of style. However, coexisting with a partner who not only understands the value of respect in a relationship but also makes an effort to embody and demonstrate it on a daily basis is a sign of true love.
Not undermining or belittling each other during bad moods, maintaining unity and mutual respect in social situations regardless of the temporary state of the relationship, zero “low blows” even during heated arguments, are all examples of respect in action.
Emotionally mature communication.
Whether these are of the intellectual, stimulating variety or hashing out a debate – doing so in a calm, articulate manner is just so damn attractive.
Being there for each other in crises.
I recently heard a media personality talk about her husband proposing to her after they had taken an emergency flight to visit her father in hospital, who had just suffered a heart attack. The emotional rollercoaster of the event had such a deep, bonding effect on the couple, and the love in that moment felt so strong, that he could think of no better time than to pop the question. I thought that was absolutely beautiful.
On a slightly less extreme end of the spectrum, even just having your partner adjust their schedule last minute in case of emergency, or handling a difficult conversation on your behalf during an emotional time can have a beautiful long-lasting effect on the quality of your relationship.
Comfortable silence.
This one comes with time, but once it does, is it ever worth it? The art and ease of comfortable silence are so inexplicably elite that they may be the equivalent of deep and riveting conversation.
Unspoken understanding.
Being with someone who knows (and wants) when to leave the social event, understands why you may be tense in a particular situation and tries to remove you from it, or just quietly does the thing you need to be done without you having to say it. Now that’s romance.
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Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope what you have read has somehow educated, informed, or inspired you.
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